When children misbehave at school, teachers sometimes kindly tell the parents that they’ve been “acting out” in the classroom.  This phrase may refer to a child’s ignoring or arguing with the teacher, not sharing with another student, being uncooperative with classmates, or having a temper tantrum during class.  While unpleasant, these are not unexpected behaviors – they’re children after all.

But what happens when people “act out” at work?  Such actions can look quite similar to those of a child: over sensitivity, inconsideration of others, withdrawal, failure to listen, irritability, impatience, or negativity.   Do any of these sound familiar?

The Birkman Assessment has a wonderful explanation of and approach to such behaviors.  According to the Birkman, people generally behave in these unconstructive ways when their needs are not being met.   These negative actions are called “stress behaviors” because the people exhibiting them are truly feeling stressed.  Since we don’t know what other people’s needs are unless they tell us, we usually have no idea their needs are being neglected.  We tend to get frustrated with their acting out when, in reality, the Birkman would tell us it’s not their fault.  Sometimes the people themselves don’t know what their needs truly are.

This was a profound explanation for me when I first heard it.  I found it beneficial on two levels.  First, it helped me be more compassionate and supportive of my co-workers when they were experiencing stress.  Rather than take their actions personally, I reminded myself that they had a need (not a desire, but a need) that was not being met.  Depending on the situation, I might be able to assist the individual in meeting that need and alleviating the stress.  Second, it enabled me to recognize some of my own stress behaviors.  This forced me to examine my needs, some of which had not been apparent to me.  It was then up to me to ensure that my needs were met, as that was the only way to permanently eliminate my unconstructive actions.

I hope this helps you the next time you or someone you encounter at work is exhibiting stress behaviors.  For more on the Birkman, click here.

When we think about physical wellness, it’s important to consider the quality of what we’re taking into our bodies: the food we eat, the beverages we drink, and the air we breathe.  But to look, feel, and do our best in every way, we also must consider what we allow into our minds, through our ears and eyes. 

I find myself very affected by my surroundings and experiences.  Consider what you’re taking into your psyche each day from:

·          Newspapers, television and radio news, and Internet new sites (are you a CNN addict?)

·          Television shows, DVDs, and theaters (how much violence, death, and crime are you exposed to each day?)

·          Other media/displays such as mail advertisements, billboards, bumper stickers, and signs.

·          Conversations you hold or overhear at work, on the bus, at the gym, in line anywhere, and so forth.

Talk of recession, war, unemployment, high gas prices, and the ailing real estate market are common topics that are almost impossible to avoid.  

To nurture our minds and souls, we must be aware of and intentional about what we expose ourselves to.  I urge you to neutralize any negative influences with uplifting music; inspirational and educational reading, television, and movies; and positive, success-oriented people.  Limit your exposure to the news, and make it a daily practice to count your blessings and your successes.  Make the time to care for yourself spiritually in whatever way works for you, and do so every day.  Adopt these simple habits and expect the same results studies have found repeatedly to occur – improvements in sleep, reduction in pain, enhanced resistance to colds and flu, and an overall greater sense of well-being.

Every year time seems to go by faster and faster, have you noticed?  As we get older and still have big dreams we want to accomplish, we can get a bit anxious about this rapid passing of time.  Do we have enough time remaining to accomplish what we set out to this year, a decade ago, or maybe even at the outset of our careers?

One highly effective way I've found of approaching this dilemma is by setting an intention to live life in the Divine Flow.  Steven Lane Taylor does a wonderful job of explaining this way of living, giving us proven tools for recognizing and cooperating with the underlying current that exists in each of our lives.  He's so good at this because for years he did it the hard way, the way many of us do - pushing, scheming, and manipulating circumstances and events, trying to get them to go as we thought they had to for us to meet our objectives.  Eventually he realized that the Universe is actually on our sides, working daily to guide us to the fulfillment of our dreams in a joyful, effortless way!

I had a perfect demonstration of this idea in a big way last year.  After two months of training to pass my audition to become a certified Jazzercise instructor, I broke my toe (and my confidence) 10 days before my audition.  I was the only one out of 11 to fail - can you imagine how I felt?  But encouraged by the support of family and friends I arranged to have a top instructor mentor me, and two months later I passed the audition with accolades.  I immediately took over a well-paying class with up to 100 customers, many of whom have been with Jazzercise over 20 years.  In just a few weeks, we were all having a great time together, although I found out later that most of them were dead-set against me at the beginning.  If I had not had the opportunity to train with one of the best, I doubt I would have been successful in winning them over in the long run.  The Universe really was conspiring for my good, even if it didn't appear so at the time!

So keep one of my favorite bits of advice from Steve in mind the next time something appears that doesn't look good: if the appearance isn't good, it's not over yet.  For much more on this, click here for Steve's website.